Read it at ur own risk! :D
Eve’s daughter kisses the rind of earth with two small bare feet; suckling the ground as though connected - they are always connected. She is rail thin, but her breasts are two swollen orbs blooming. Her one hundred brothers braid holly root and weeds into her tangled hair and with their outstretched hands call: “Come little sister, come.”
Her tiny fingers are folded into the mangled flesh of her brother’s callused hand (holding tightly.)
At night, when the stars burn hazy black, and the moon bloats to its chipped fullness she falls asleep to dream beside those brothers. She dreams of cold rivers caressing her hands and birds flying overhead with a language that taunts her to try and understand. When the sun burns hot she wakes to the sour hint of blood between her legs. Eve is tangled with Adam - she doesn’t understand. She screams - she doesn’t understand.
Eve’s daughter puts leafs between her legs and curls her small body up like a wrinkle to avoid the pain.
At night she lies still and quiet; forgotten in the encampment of brothers who sleep beside her. She watches the sky fold within itself - she watches it change and turn. The stars are curved like a hip bone above her. When she feels a hand cover her own she makes no noise. She is silent and wide-eyed while one of her brothers moves on top of her. “Little sister,” he croons; he kisses her neck. He hears a whimper, and puts his hand on her face: “Hush, little sister.” He kisses her mouth, and a soft tongue tickles her lips.
He enters her with a moan. She grips his hand and cries out. He moves with a pattern like the ever changing sky above them.
When the sun burns hot again he is folded next to her. He kisses her to baptize the morning. They move through the day as though one person - never out of sight - never out of reach.
At night she waits for his touch on her. A hand enclosing before she breathes in to feel his weight on top of her. He touches her center with firm hands and kisses her breasts with hungry lips. He moves in waves over her, and she sucks at his shoulder.
When the sun rises again she does not feel his kiss, and when she opens her eyes another brother is laying on top of her; she can still feel him inside of her. She pushes him away and runs until she finds the brother who kisses her softly with the sunrise. There is yelling, and fighting when he is told and Eve’s daughter falls into the grass weeping.
There is fighting, and then there is silence.
Eve’s brothers circle her, there are now two dead bodies in the meadow and there is blood seeping into the earth. Eve’s daughter begs the sky to let her go where her two brothers have gone to close her eyes forever.
She is taken to her mother, where she falls asleep in arms that are unfamiliar; arms that she does not know. She sleeps in the sunlight, and then in the moonlight. With eyes cracked open she watches unblinkingly as the moon grows from sliver thin to the bulbous fullness that brings her brothers to her with kisses but she shies away from them. Her bleeding stops and her belly swells.
She watches the sky turn, and in her cold hand she can feel the callused weight of her dead brother’s hand. She is sick from it.
When dawn first rises (her brothers bones are yellowing in the meadow) she feels the ripple of pain stretch across her abdomen. Her knees wobble and she moans feeling life slide from her center from a place where only they have touched. Her woman-skin is hard and heavy; and she learns to walk again with a stranger shadow beside her: a daughter.
43 comments:
Hello dear,
The story is really really good. And the narration is simply awesome.
I'm thinking about the thought process the writer(you) has undergone to create it.
Have a nice time bro. :)
Ooooooo. That was interesting! I've read two really good short stories today (one being yours hehe)! I like, I like. I have been converted.
hmm.. I am speechless
the poise with which you write is unparalleled.. you are better than many of the published writers I have read.. I can't think of a higher compliment to give
boy!! from where do u get such ideas??
i must say though it was a lil disturbing but on the whole i like d brains dat went behind writing this 1!!
@ Sunil: Thanx bro!
This is the fruit of four months effort! :D
I know 4 months is a long time but i somehow couldn't complete this one!
-I
@ Niyara: lol! It was?! :D
which is the other one then? Im glad u liked it!
btw what are u converted to?
-I
@ Freesherry: Whoa! U think so?
Im honored! Seriously!
I never knew one wud love this post of mine so much! and appreciate it!
thanx!
-I
@ Freesherry: Im really glad u liked it! thanx once again!
Im just trying my best! thats all!
-I
@ Gunj: An Idle mind is a devil's workshop they say!
This is the work of the devil inside me! ;) hehe!
Im happy that u liked it!
-I
hey jeevy your template is simply great! but this story...yikes. well written but creepy..
@ Jen: Thanks Jen! :)
hehe! :D
-I
hmmm.. i thought it was good..
and thats what musta happened long ago..
i thought it was a wonderful attempt..
i think you should quit whatevr else you are doin and start writing!!
cheers!
You do let your imagination run wild dude!! ;)
Why do you write such things?
This disturbed me deeply...
But nonetheless, a good write up.
hey man...loved the flow of the story and the words. a bit disturbing biut tht really helps...the narration makes it better :-)
@ anonme: Thank U!
Happened long ago?? :>
lol! Im studying, Im not good at that either :P
Lets see! :D
-I
@ Sam: Well, That is what a writer shud do!
Let the imagination run wild and let the words Flow!
-I
@ Harshad: Thank U bro!!
:)
-I
@ Niveditha: hehe! :D
I donno, I just write about whatever thing that comes to my mind! ;)
OH! Did I just give out a secret?
gah! nvm! :D
-I
First blog that i am linking where i am extremely convinced that i want to read the impressionist everyday and i havent read anything else but this story...!
The story has a dignity and composure of its own..thanks to the narration....An exquisite piece..Bravo for writing this one!
The concept and the narration are refreshingly new.
I think i like it :)
Wow, Jeevy..it was amazing.
Awesome narration...
sad story...
@ Alesea: HEH! Im really Glad u liked my blog and the story!
I will link back to ur blog too, I have been busy...Will start reading ur blog once im free! :)
-I
@ Poison Coated Elixir: Yeah they are! :D
U think?
so does that mean ur not sure? :D
-I
@ Jyoti: Thanx! :D
-I
@ D Sinner: Thanx!
Well, cant help IT! :D
-I
..the imagination indeed is unique and of its own kind...however, this makes me sleepless for nights..
brilliant flow !
Hello. This post is likeable, and your blog is very interesting, congratulations :-). I will add in my blogroll =). If possible gives a last there on my blog, it is about the Servidor, I hope you enjoy. The address is http://servidor-brasil.blogspot.com. A hug.
well-written but a very shocking n sad event.
Keshi.
the word is eerriee! but nice work!
I likes. 'tis a bit disturbing, but what isnt??
OK, I waited to comment - as wanted to see the reactions.
You were apprehensive about the subject - so you have a "warning" - but its the style and poise of the story - that matters sometimes - you have dealt with a so called taboo subject with finesse.....
loved it - and I can beleive it took you four months - it shows in the narration - not like its just put together.
home more are on the way - will check back in july maybe
@ Rashi: Yeah, Imagination has no limits!
Does it?
Makes u sleepless? hehe! I warned u!
-I
@ Servidores: Thanx!
I will visit urs soon!
-I
@ Keshi: Thanx!
It indeed is! :)
-I
@ The New Cynic: HEHE! :D
Thanx! :P
-I
@ Mystique: Yeah!
What isn't!?
Everything & everyone in this world are disturbing! :P
-I
@ Ceedy: Oh! :D
I thought U didnt read it!
Thanx bro! Im really glad u liked it!
Yea, not many people wud like to read such stuff! :)
So i put up a warning! :)
so are u going on some vacation?
If so, Enjoy! :)
-I
sorry!
oh no - I meant HOPE more are on the way....
you mentioned it took you 4 months to write this so I counted it to june or july maybe for another story like this :)
@ Jyoti: NP! :D
-I
@ Ceedy: Oh Okie! :D
heh! U made a mistake in typing i guess! :D so I got it all wrong! :P
I hope I come up with something like this soon! :)
-I
Post a Comment